Being that I have quite a bit of experience in the drunken whore department, I have gathered quite a lot of information over the last years on what is acceptable drunken etiquette and what isn't. I have also found out (the hard way, pun intended) things one should NEVER do when sauced. Here, I will share my wisdom with all you less experienced drunken whores and shine a bit of light on your path to.... well... rehab.
1. DO NOT TEXT CRUSHES, EX-BOYFRIENDS, ETC: This is the worst thing you could possibly do when drunk. Not only are you probably texting guys a whole lotta shit but usually when we are drunk our morals (what little morals we have) go flying out the window and the texts end up creepy or pathetic. TURN YOUR PHONE OFF.
2. DO NOT GIVE EX-TRA ATTITUDE: We Gays are already feisty enough, get alcohol into the mix and the "Shanaynay" in us comes out and we start giving attitude for no reason which leads to bitchy cat fights or worse yet: DANCE-OFFs! So when drunk, girl, U betta check yo' ass!
And finally:
3. KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON: Why is it that you hear a bit of dance music and all of the sudden you're Britain's Next Top Stripper. When drunk and in the mood to dance make sure you're sober enough to STAY ON the podium without falling on some unsuspecting sober Gay or worse yet falling on a dyke cos they will kick your ass with their tool belt.
I have decided to give you all a treat with a hunk that might have had a tad too much to drink and his clothes came right off! Well, I guess if you look like this then you can totally ignore tip 3!!
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